will this be the end

2008-06-20T00:41:00.001+08:00

GUYS I'VE MOVED IT NOW http://venom-ster.livejournal.com/

2008-05-18T21:20:00.002+08:00

wells another sunday, which i must say was quite ok la... spent like the whole day stonning around heh, but yea saturday was a happy day, woke up smiling, had a happy day, nothing made me sad or anything, which rocked, heh, wells, vesak day tmr, wooo extra holiday heh, alrights, gtg now, get some slp, or stone, heh

2008-05-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

wells its really been sometime since i've blog, wells since the start of school, till now, i still have yet to shake off this holiday feel that has been somewhat sticking on to me after the end of interships, wells, i rarely go for lectures nowadays, so yea school's really been i must say somewhat slackish for me, just attending tutorials and catching movies with the guys nearly every other day after school, so yea life's kinda getting relaxed, heh somewhat good but yet somewhat bad. Wells i have taken to a new hobby! and its lomography! heh its basically photography with old school plastic cameras, i'll upload the pics some day, when i decide to process it into a cd over having pics printed, or decide to buy a scanner, heh in which both scenarios will have to wait, ah wells gonna go slp now, for tmr's a holiday, oh yea every thursday's a holiday for me btw, coz i have no school then heh, well its not self declared, its just a great thing that ngee ann has given its year 3 students heh

2008-04-27T23:43:00.001+08:00

wells sometimes i think that i really think too much....

2008-04-22T09:21:00.001+08:00

some pics from the past few days

2008-04-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

hey all, its been a while since i last blogged, and yea since then, my internship has ended!!! wooo! and i just got back my laptop from ACER after 1 week, which is cool coz they gave me a whole new one! but pity, i liked the stickers of my old laptop. but yea its cool, the new one's much better, with much better specs so yea i'm happy heh, anyways a shout out to my older sister HAPPY 22nd BDAY, YOU'RE OLD NOW HAHA

2008-04-02T21:28:00.004+08:00

wells the days are passing by soo slowly, can't wait for school to reopen, i'm dying in this so called holiday, wells some pics over the last week to try lighten up my mood, anyways the kitten i took pics of was found downstairs of my block, super friendly stray, heh it let me carry it somemore heh!

2008-03-25T09:48:00.002+08:00

Every morning is carried out in a constant blur, as if my mind's disconnected from the body, absent from its "working station".

Why is this so, is it cos i'm neglecting thinking conciously for life in general, or am i just zonking out, turning into a blank, just to prevent thoughts of life from becoming over powering, which can take its toll on the heart.

I dunno, maybe sometimes i don't think of life because i'm scared to think, or maybe i'm just lazy, being very carefree about life in general, or maybe, my mind is just like a mirror to my inner desire, reflecting the need to be completly at peace and reflecting the need to be at a state of calmness, to get outta the chaotic and noisy world.

ok time to get back to work, back to intern hell heh....

2008-03-22T14:11:00.002+08:00

well today was one of the rare saturdays where i have no soccer in the morning, and nothing to do for like half of the day. The night before, i thought that it would be a boring day, with nothing to do, no more series to watch since i finished watching coffee prince, which was not bad heh... but yea, i awoke with a smile, surprisingly, somehow feeling well rested, and carefree, maybe this is what its like to be truely free and burdenless, a sense of relaxation, where the day ahead would be so relaxed. So yea, now here i am realxing around in my room, which i do once in a blue moon, feeling happy and contented with life.... (:

2008-03-20T16:50:00.003+08:00

so there i sat, by the walkway, on a bench, watching the people passby.
i see faces, some happy, some sad, but most of them show no emotion, as if their mind is wandering through an endless loop of thoughts, or maybe its just that they have so much to worry or think about, or maybe they really don't think at all....
so what are they thinking about, life? Maybe, but yet its so pointless to think about life....

2008-03-18T11:07:00.002+08:00

wells, another day at work, another boring, mundane day, whereeverything seems so routine, no random happenings, like singapore getting attacked by some giant monster, or a blizzard hitting singapore, or my work place getting shut down for safety checks, hiaz, no, just plain old work, sit at my desk, of my little corner, stare at the screen, wait for calls from my immediate boss, to do work, filing, reading through articles to do reports for my immediate boos to see, do newspaper cuttings, find out info. Yea thats all in a day's work....
right now, i see how fun school is, rather than sitting here, come to think of it, its rather depressing, sitting in a office cubicle, at your work desk, one computer screen, work work and work, dun get to walk around much except for coffee breaks like once every 2 hours... i mean yea once in a while you do get a nice friend who pops by on msn and entertains you, but yea sometimes it just doesn't last long enough to allow time to pass till the end of work, but yea still, work is soooooooooooo depressing....

2008-03-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

Tell me oh Lord what am i to do, with a mother who just cares about how i spend my own cash that i earn, telling me "oh how stupid it is to spend your hard earn cash on driving" and a unsporting sister, whose sole aim in life is to just go for the material wants of the world, telling my mum "oh he's always stupidly spending his time in church wasting his life away", tell me Lord wat am i to do.

Is it my fault, that I've seen how useless money really is, and that i rather be broke and happy, spending my hard earn money on a skill that will last me a lifetime, in this case, driving, oh is it my fault that i find serving the Lord in church crucial for my walk with God, and that each moment spent there allows Him to use me for the benefit of others?

Right now frankly speaking, i feel as if I'm so useless, can't even make anyone in my family happy, just because i want to do things that i see reaps a better investment in life, and in society, for this matter in church? Why do i feel its my fault, and that everything that i choose is always wrong, no matter how right it actually is, and frankly speaking its been happening day in and out for a great deal of time now, and i dunno how long more i can go on, eluding these demoralizations. On top of that its from my family, the people who are meant to be the closest to me, suppose to kinda guide me in life, telling me whats right and whats wrong. So am i being stubborn? Am i being a spoilt kid wasting my life away? I dunno, i can't define wats meant to be right and wats meant to be wrong anymore, i agree its shit,and frustrating, i admit i'm a useless kid k, never was able to produce any great results in life, i'm sorry, i'm only human, i'm imperfect.

So to my mum i know you'll never ever see this entry, so i'll say this out, yes i'm a stupid useless kid who in your eyes will never suceed in life, and to my sis, if you do stumble upon this entry, woe is you who defines serving the Lord as a waste of time, for you know the Lord and His doings, and His want for people to serve Him, so i guess may the Lord have mercy on you.

iknow i sound very hypocritical saying all these, kinda pssing judgement on my sis, but yea do you see what i go through? Only if you took a step back and see what i go through, see how your own words impact on me.... how selfish the human mind is, the more i detest being human.......i know i ain't a saint, but sometimes it takes a sinner to help another realise his own sins....

i just wanna give up, stay at home and remain quiet, and not talk.....ignorance is bliss, only when you're blessed with ignorance, other han that you suffer in the pure silence of pretend ignorance, fighting the contradicting thoughts within your mind.................. yes, dean's life is real screwed up, i admit, and its sad, so stop torturing dean, so he won't need to resort to being a joker all the time to hide whats truly buring deep inside......

2008-02-13T18:21:00.000+08:00

how can i stand here with You and not be moved...

2008-01-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

when you feel as if you have the so much responsibilities on your hand, you'll find it hard to sleep, and hard to be at ease...

2008-01-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" - Phillipians 2:14-15

this was the main scripture for YAM's stakeholder's meeting today, and i must say it holds so much truth, and it only got to me after much thought, 4 hours after hearing it thought, on the bus home, pain and grief struck me, it felt as if sadness just gripped me and didn't want to let go, so i questioned the Lord, what is this grief that you out in me Lord.... after going through much thought about the whole situation, it finally hit me, how perverse this world really was, and how it just saddens the Lord, i guess what i felt what just a minor fraction of the sadness the Lord feels towards how much this world has changed for the worse...

with that in mind, i knew that He's definately trying to tell me something important, i believe the general message that He was conveying to me was; now's the time, now's the time for correction, for changes to made, so that in such crooked times, i can be found blameless and pure in His eyes, to be a true child of God...

i guess this does mean a lot to me, given that this year is a year filled with many trials, and the many great plans that God has for me. I'm sure of it, it was shown to me since new year's eve, in service, what the Lord has planned for me, so yes, now's the time for change, now's the time to pick up that cross, and be what He wants me to be...

one last piece of scripture, which i feel is relevant to this whole issue...
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will" - Romans 12:2

Lord, i pray for strength, to carry out Thy will, and to face the temptations which follows..

2008-01-07T10:17:00.000+08:00

wells,its back to school already, and its like the 2nd week... this is bad, i'm still stuck on holiday mode, not wanting to do much revision, with exams in 4 weeks, i need to step up and snap outta this holiday mode man...
but yea at lest life's been great so far this year, besides my dislocated 4th finger...

2007-12-30T00:06:00.001+08:00

my heart, filled with joy
a smile on my face, warming like the sun
life suddenly became so meaningfull,
when i realised, that on the cross,
love was redefined, reinvented,
if only, if only the world could comprehend...

wells, spent 3pm to 1050 helping out with One, tomorrow's thanksgiving event for church. I must say it was super tiring, but yea, admist the music coming from the practise, i managed to hear God, and His soft calling, it made me realise, what a fool i've been, and if only i just stopped to listen, block out the noisy world, and just listen.....
i dunno why, but i'm just filled with joy and calmness at the moment, it feels like God just wants me to be happy...

i've got a smile on my face, a glide in my stride,
i'm tasting His grace, and i'm walking by faith...

2007-12-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

just hate me and get over and done with it already damn it....

2007-12-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

i have noticed 2 things over the past days...
1) i get damn cranky and easily frustrated or annoyed when i'm sleep deprived

2) i get pissed when i don't get personal space, so yea people who are nosy watch out..

anyways on a seperate note, here's some pics from the concert thingy i went to organised by denise....

2007-12-09T22:38:00.000+08:00

wells some pics taken over the week, studyin at school with zhiwei jon brice and faris, then some shots from the jamming studio, emo shot while the van was moving anf the door was opened haha and erms yea christmas lights at orchad

2007-12-05T22:44:00.000+08:00

just a random thought crossed by my mind today, and i thought i should blog about it, here it goes:
its ironic how humans sometimes try so hard to relate their lives to movies, i mean most movies are somewhat fantasy after all, in comparison to what life really is, mostly cruel and filled with emotional roller coasters, soo unlike the world of movie fantasy. The danger of this irony comes where people try too hard to finish their chapters of life with similar endings of the movies, they end up trying their very best, best most of the time just to find themselves fallen, face first, in a difficult spot, hard to pick themselves up.

2007-12-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

wells 2 pics from yesterday, had some 3 hours break, so me yx and zw went to holland v, had xiao long bao...

2007-12-05T13:12:00.001+08:00

wells... life's gonna be great from now on, coz i said so... thank God for friends and no thanks for you

2007-12-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

ok thanks for the words you said to me, A, thanks a lot, i guess i really am an asshole, and i really still am the same as clarence even he left you for his ex when i left you for no one, and i left you cause you told me i deserved better and that i should have moved on, i did what you told me to, so yea i guess i still am an ass no matter what i do or choose, i dun wanna know wat to do or say anymore, i guess i'm a jerk... there i agreed to your view of me, does that help you or make you happy, and does it make you happy to know that i'm so sick and tired of trying to solve or help you solve your problem that i wished i never did existed, does it??? i'm feeling real lousy about myself if you must know.... thanks, really thanks

2007-12-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

wells , just came back youth camp, it sure was fun, especially after one year of not attending any church camps... heh... wells here are some pics...

charlotte giving her signature death stare
the speaker giving some talk
the camp commandant, about to eat the camera
zhen yang, he obviously needs to learn to open his eyes in the morning heh!

needless to say this guy is RETARDED
kenneth prob was on dope
ken chins, yx, zhen,ken lee, bang, half of my face
us again without chins

the view from the camp

last night, the banana game
the view from the camp
on the view's left
the main hall

2007-11-28T21:33:00.000+08:00

wells, first i must say a lot has happened today, should be enough to take me down emotionally, but yea i somehow survived, and that i'm greatful to the Lord.
to A, i still think you are the best thing that has happened to me after all that has happened, and i mean it, i hope that in the future a miracle will happen, i really do hope, i'm still the same, i still feel the same, i promise.... i hope that you know that, and i hope that you'll come to realise that one day, and that i'll always be waiting.... enuff said, i need my rest

2007-11-27T00:44:00.000+08:00

its 12:48 am but i just can't sleep, i awoke to the cold sweat dripping down my back,only to realise that fear had gotten the better of me...its as if the devil himself had grip over my weakness exploiting me in it, but yet again i told myself, how could it be, the dream just seemed too real, its surrealness kept it alive in my mind, and like a broken record player it just went on,over and over again, each time i closed my eyes...
i dared not sleep, fearing the fear would grip me again,oh how i wish it would go away, this near insanity feeling, it was just too much for me to take, thus its taking its toll on me....
i want to appologise,for i'm just too stubborn i guess, i can't comprehand it, i wish i could,but i guess i'm just too lousy to even grasp the slightest idea of it, and i do really hate myself for it, for my stubborness has caused you discomfort, and anger.....

i !$$%ing hate myself

2007-11-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

what do you do when your friends are far away, and you're put in a uncomfortable spot?? well simple, you suffer in silence..

2007-11-12T10:53:00.001+08:00

wells i know i haven't bloged in some time, partly cause i'm lazy and partly cause i've been out most of the time, so yea not much time to blog...

2007-11-03T11:27:00.000+08:00

wells one night of struggle, but i learnt something from that night... that is to learn to trust others for their words...

2007-11-02T12:15:00.000+08:00

cold sweat trickled down my neck, as i sat up on my bed, eyes bloodshot, face filled with fear, and i told myself, that was one heck of a nightmare, it all seemed so real, it all seemed so relatable....
i collapsed back on to the bed, starring back into darkness of the night, telling myself " relax its all just a dream, get back to sleep, you need the sleep". I tried to sleep, closing my eyes, but the dream just kept on replaying in my mind, like a broken record player, it went on and on, forcing me back to my consciousness....
time flew by, minutes ticked away, soon it was hours, and finally the light of the day found itself into the morning sky, i told myself, what a shitty night, and what a shitty day of school i have to get to...

2007-11-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

as demanded by amanda, here goes this quiz

My Personality


Neuroticism	63
Extraversion	92
Openness To Experience	72
Agreeableness	96
Conscientiousness	78

You are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time. Stressful and frustrating situations can often be upsetting to you, but you are sometimes able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations. Novelty, variety, and change spice up your life and make you a curious, imaginative, and creative person. You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Customer Satisfaction Survey.

2007-10-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

wells had my first IEF tutorial today, and luckily, my teacher was miss wong, who seemed really nice, except for the fact that she's gonna prob mark me down, since she happened to be in the same bus as me while i was complaining to my friend about IEF, and yea she confronted me today, and i nearly died of shock man... so yea after school went to stardie heh, scared for this sem already mans

2007-10-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

wells had IDARE afterglow today, at sentosa, at palawan beach, and here are some pics (:

2007-10-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

wells some updates for the weekendish with pics, thurdays, driving at night, car no. 70 lol, some of my drawings during boring lecture, and amanda looking dao when i met her for lunch lol...
friday, had cell, then stayed over at derrick's haha, then slacked the day off at derrick's, thus his morning mug shot lol...
currently staying over at zhiwei's with derrick, supposed to watch the rugby world cup finals, but seems like they're both K.O.ed from liquor consumption hahah i'm still up doing my IEF homework :( heh see hardworking lol
tomorrow we'll be all going to church together in the morning, then zhiwei and me will be off to sentosa for IDARE after glow YEA!!! haha anyways gotta get back to homework bb!

2007-10-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

wells 2 pics for today, the sunset...

2007-10-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

check this out!!!

one step closer to that driving license

2007-10-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

wells.... the first day of school for the sem!!! hahah it was great, 2 hrs of lecture, seeing people you haven't seen throughout the holiday, then after that, went to watch resident evil: extinction, heh not bad a movie, but gory i must say... heh... kk thats pretty much it, bb!

2007-10-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

why oh why do the vast majorities warn me against it........

2007-10-06T17:00:00.000+08:00

well here's some pictures of my week's activities, watching cardinal avenue @ timbre's on wed night, and the dog's called bagel, my new found warm pillow.....

2007-10-03T00:20:00.001+08:00

enough heard, enough said,
the smile, just the smile,
yes, the smile, it will do its job.....somehow

2007-10-01T14:33:00.000+08:00

some pictures from over the weekend, after derrick passed his driving on friday, and he me and zhiwei went for a long long long joy ride haha

2007-09-25T12:23:00.000+08:00

here's some pics of yesterday, amy's bday

2007-09-25T12:10:00.000+08:00

well yea i haven't been updating for a while, but its coz i've been out most of the time, occupied with work, rugby trainings and driving lessons... well now that i've quit work, there' definately more time for me to stay home and rest, yea thus this post....

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

2007-09-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

ah finally its midnight, i'mfinally sweet 18 i guess, its funny man turning 18 and there's no booze(just feels weird) can't drink later tonight since i'll be playing for sunday service... hiazzzzzz..... heh ah wells drinking's bad and i'm supposed to cut down anyways, so yea thats a good headstart to the 18th year of my life... heh thanks to those who stayed up to wish me, maurice, lynn, brice, yvonne soh, selwyn, joseph, tiffanie, alicia, yi xian(who called from aussie), zheng yang(much earlier)... well not many people, but yea really thankfull that u guys actually bother to find out and rmbr it and rmbr to wish me...those who forgot i hate you people, nah just kidding, its ok, i mean its just another day, heh not impt la... wells gotta go slp now gonna go bbdc tmr morning early to sign up for driving! haha can't wait

2007-09-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

well well i know i haven't blogged in a long time, i must be enjoying my holidays i guess heh... its just rugby training on mondays, wednesdays and fridays, and work on the other days except for sundays, so yea rather "fun"... 3 more days to 18, wells, must go sign up for driving on that day heh! and 2 days after thatsi'll be off to malaysia, kota tingi, for idare, i hope it'll be a fun camp, ah wells, i bet it will, since its not in singapore, and i'm just dyingto get outta singapore, since i haven't been outta this crap place since eons ago.... ah wells, off to slp, for i have work tomorrow...

2007-08-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

well, its over, over i tell ya... it was over on wednesday, 10.40am... but, it only registered in me today, that it was really really over...boy am i happy

2007-08-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

wells exams exams...hiaz so stressfull, so much so that i decided to add a water feature on my desk to help me relax and take my mind off the stress when i'm on breaks... heh so i bought this small tank with neon tetras heh! 44 bucks... worthy investment? only time will tell haha
here's some pics of my small tank

2007-08-07T19:04:00.000+08:00

well studyin for exams now and yea decided to post some pics i got from my phone heh...

my jaguar

and again..

nah just shitting u guys thats celeste's jaguar, or her's in a few months time after she passes her driving thats what they told me haha...

2007-08-03T00:30:00.000+08:00

some thoughts on the equality of men and women...

thought 1:
women go through the worst pain ever felt in a lifetime, and its said to be felt while giving birth, with this experience, most women say men do not understand the real meaning of pain.....i say, we Singaporean men probably do know what that pain is like, and we experience it, but over a period of 2 years++, its called the army...

thought 2:
so yea not all women go through that pain, since not every woman gives birth...i say, likewise, in the world of men we have people who dun need to go through the army, they are called the medically unfit for army, or the pess F....

thought 3:
women think men still dominate the working world, and that men tend to get a higher chance over securing a job... i say: tell that to those men with lady bosses, ok nah that's just a joke, but yea to get it straight,men go for army, which puts us 2 years(minimum) behind girls, in terms of education, i mean while we're in NS, you guys are in uni, so technically, comparing a same aged girl and a guy with equal amount of skill and brains, men are still at the disadvantage of lacking out in 2 years of work related experience, which puts us in a disadvantage when we are applying for a job, coz the girl would already have the job experience, whereas the guy is just a fresh graduate..

yea those are just some thoughts of mine heh...nonsensical as it might seem, there's some logic in it... just some... heh one disclaimer, these are just random thoughts, so no one should take it seriously, i don't want some mega debate on the fairness towards the genders to start, neither do i want some pro woman activist to come sue me....

2007-07-31T21:59:00.000+08:00

oh man bordem, its getting a grip on me...

its like ___________________ (can seem to describe the feeling i get when i'm bored)

2007-07-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

and i asked, Lord to speak to me, and He replied, I always had, but never did you listen....

Only then did i understand how foolish i was.Only when i reflected back on how i fell flat on my face, with the sound mockery surrounding me. I paused, laughed at my ignorance, and thought to myself, what an idiot i was to not listen to Him....

oh what an idiot i was to have tought that i was able to write my own future, after all it was man vs. God, and i knew the outcome. Yet i picked the fight....silly me silly me...

now whats left is to pick up where i left off before the fight, and walk on....

2007-07-22T20:43:00.000+08:00

well when the road ahead seems gloomy and tough, count your blessings and smile, for the Lord is always with you..

on a seperate note, end of sem exams in 3 weeks oh my....

2007-07-17T10:20:00.003+08:00

anger, so much around that i might just might be consumed by it

2007-07-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

well had a match against rp on friday evening, got a bad knock on the head during the second half and didn't go back on after that, saturday was quite a relaxing day, soccer from 8am to 10 am , then jamming from 11 to 1, after which i salcked around town and derrick's house with zhi wei, amy and dionne, then met up with some ex barker mates chunky, charles, vivan, and some np ppl, alicia and mei ling , the whole big group of us went yoshi at PS for dinner... after that amy, meiling, dionne, alicia and alvin went to meiling's house for some drinks he which was kinda funny lol here's some pics at meilings house and the 2 pics from the shisha session some of us had last week....

2007-07-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

well had stats test2 on Tuesday, and i must say that the year 1s this year are damn lucky, since its so much easier, plus my previous stats teacher told me that they revised the syllabus. Managed to finish the paper within 35 mins, and was allowed by one of the teachers to leave when mr sunny phua stopped me and insisted that i sit down and wait till the paper ended... well was looking around to see all the tormented facial expressions of the year 1s during my free time and saw deidre haha didn't know she retook stats too... so yea after paper met up with zhi wei and deidre and waited for them to smoke finish then yea managed to convince all of them to go shishaing heh heh heh my new found glorious pastime... :D well zhi wei had to meet gobi first so yea we deviated to town, and met gobi, lynn , and brice, convinced all of them to stop studyin to follow us shishaing hahaha funny stuff.. well lynn made me emo in the cab thats why i ended up a lil quiet at the shisha place at first so yea after a while of emoing and shishaing i felt better haha... the place was cool... my sis joined us, chatted for a while, then she left to meet her other friends... yea that was some good hangout session heh should have more of those next time :D shisha = stress releaver

2007-07-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

as the drops of rain fall from the sky, i sat there on my bed by the window thinking
what if the rain brought happiness, happiness in abundance from the sky,
all you need to do is to just stand there in the rain and let it fill you with happiness, but yet again wouldn't that make the sun emit rays of sadness? i mean thats if the world was about balance, then standing in the sun would mean sorrows and sadness...what randomness right? but yet again i ask you out there, all of u, haven't you as a kid or a youth stood or played in the rain? And remember what joy it brought? i bet it definately did put a smile on your face... and as for the sun, remember the days when you just had to walk in then hot blistering afternoon sun, or even worse, march under the scorching heat, as part of your CCA? weren't you just wishing it all that heat away? haha yea weird as it might seem, generation of random thoughts somehow is linked to our subconcious mind, and our experiences, well at leats it does have a link for me heh TOTALLY RANDOM MAN... srry i just got bored while studying for stats test tmr.. and one bad piece of news, my sis's wallet got pickpocketed in bangkok, and all her cash's gone.. shites there goes my aviators, fake burkenstocks and t shirts...

2007-07-07T11:19:00.000+08:00

well another weeks has passed, a rather quick one i must say... some highlights of this week...
wednesday night was my first time clubbing coz it was deidre's bday and she celebrated it at phuture,lol yea i know i'm underaged, but when u have a all so cool sister who knows practically all the bouncers/ ppl who do the id checking there,u can supposedly get in for free and underaged haha the wonderful things my sister does lol... well yea first time dancing too lol felt damn stupid haha but ah wells it was crowded so yea who cares no one knew :D so yea clubbed till like 405 then shared a cab with meiling home, then went to send my sister who was going to bangkok with 2 other friends for holiday( yea its the same sis by the way, i only got one sis)...so yea went to the air port at like 5 in the morning, had supper with my sis and my dad and her friends before they left, then yea headed home, reached home at like 6, and slept, totally forgeting bout IandE meeting at 11 the next day, so yea woke up at 11, rushed my ass down to school in my shorts and tshirt and yea had IandE...
so yea that was my lil highlight of the week, next week has 2 test in store for me, sucks, stats and ECD, so yea time to mug again i guess..

2007-07-02T13:57:00.000+08:00

well just came back from watchin transfomers man come cool shit movie, the best i've seen i must say.. anyway yesterday was our ECD bazarr thing at bukit batok CC, we managed to break even and earn a total of 15 in profit, so yea we had a total sales of 265 bucks, haha and yea it was fun, we were selling snow cones after the bazarr, i rushed home, then met maurice and his sis at clarke quay for some drinks and shisha heh fun stuff i must say lol.... here's some pics

our ECD stall

again

pic of the day, tatt in apron

maurice shishaing

again

my turn at shishaing

and again

2007-06-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

thats it man.. i ain't gonna run no more, its time to face battles man, time to pick up my weapon and go for war. You heard it right maurice i ain't gonna run no more man, thats partly why i wanted a fresh blog as a new start, a new start to facing the inner demons, slaying them down one by one. I ain't gonna let my brother, friends worry bout me no more, no more depression/sadness/shitty thoughts, no more i say, i'm gonna win this war... just watch me... anyways see ya in church next sunday maurice thats my renewed word.........

2007-06-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

You belong to me by jason wade
See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
Just remember darling all the while
You belong to me

Verse 2
See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

Bridge

And I'd be so alone without you

Maybe you'd be lonesome, too

Verse 3
Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me...

damn nice song, with all so better lyrics

2007-06-25T15:23:00.000+08:00

what a noisy place the world has become, just all so noisy.
yea random, but true. how i wish the world could be quiter, coz this noisy world's giving me a headache... until that wish comes true i'll just turn to martin taylor on my ipod for that sense of peace...........

2007-06-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

well it was a fun last 3 days of the holidays i must say, friday spent training and attending cell, then saturday, had music ministry meeting at brekos, then went out wid clem chua, which a haven't seen in ages, its was gd to know that he was still alive and well, yea, slacked around in town wid him till like 4, saw meiling, leslie and xi yao while towining, went home and decided to go cycling, so yea had a short 3 hour evening cycle with joe ong down the singapore river, to esplanade, saw the NDP rehersal from esplande, then headed down to plaza sing.'s cafe cartel for dinner, then headed back home, grabbed my stuff and headed over to jon wong's house for a stayover, well i must say it was a great stayover, a great way to end the holidays, just the 3 of us(me jon and james), sitting on his rooftop, watch the world go by, and chat about life, memoriable indeed. woke up the next morning for church, attened the charismatic worship at the upper room, which was not bad, then haeded off to town for lunch with kaye and maurice and mah zhen you, then yea headed home to slp, was supposed to wake up for games but i guess i was just too tired, so yea i slept till like 6, slacked around, and went for dinner wid my family at the funan thai food place again, 2 words for that place, GOOD SHIT... haha okok school's in like 10 hours' time, better go slp man nights world...

2007-06-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

well had a fitness session this morning instead of gymming coz yea too lazy to do weight lifting... after that ZW came over to my house and slacked till around 4, then met up with selwyn, dionne and amy at marina square to have dinner...well ate at food republic at suntec which was freaking ex... heh... then slacked around town, and yea then headed home... and yea AMY KEPT BULLYING ME BY KICKING MY ARSE... AMY THE KAH TEH BULLY!!

2007-06-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

well the past few days have been some what monotonous hanging around town, and derrick's house... well its the holidays what to say, and its ending in bout 4 days (T.T)......well managed to go to the beach with ZW, derrick and selwyn on monday to have some rest and relaxation... today ended up making a trip to justin's house at bishan and back home at 8pm in the morning due to miscommunication, coz i tought there was project meeting in the morning.. haha quite comical... ben wong came over to my house for a while to pass me the gum he bought for me from japan, thanks dude.. and yea headed off to derrick's again, played tennis, watched goal 2(kinda sucked) and yea had dinner in town... gymming tmr man, really need to get healthier, since damien's gonna coach us... i scared... here's some pics of the week

mug shot of derrick with his fake body and cardboard girlfriend haha

and again

derrick and zhi wei pranking around on the bus flashing ppl while on the second lvl of the double decker bus, yes the whole group of us do do stupid things at times

and again

2007-06-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

well what i thought was once considered history has yet again made another come back to haunt me...its back, those gloomy dark clouds hover over me, as i curl up in a corner, wishing it'll all go away, wishing it would just leave me... it eats me, from the inside out, consuming every single reason for happiness, every momentary joy, all gone, and it replaces in those places, sadness, stress, sorrow, doubt...
with it comes meangingless in life, and endless questions on why life's such, so if one day if i just can't take it no more, i just hope i don't give in to the easy way outta life, and just say 'screw this life' and then bye world... i just hate it, hate it like hell...i don't think i deserved this, my life's really a joke, as if i'm the tool of an experiment which proves the limit of human's stress level before they explode...my life's shit,lets just put it straight, and right now i'm just fighting the shit day in day out, i just pray i dun run outta strength, i just hope i don't... life, yea its overated, yea one more? love, yea its overated too....

2007-06-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

well had rugby training yesterday and guess who came down to give us a tok, the black devil himself damien pierera ... oh my sons training is soo gonna be siong from now ons man... well today went to meet zhi wei and selwyn in town, slacked around, then met up wid alicia, amy and dionne to watch ocean's 13, well i must say it was super heh well i must say amy and dionne look "cool" wid their new haircuts(pls note the inverted commars).... lol well oh yes i'm helping amy post something which is that my father said that they're kah teh which means short in hokkien after dropping them off..LOL 'KAH TEH' DUO

2007-06-13T23:34:00.000+08:00

well met up with zhi wei, mei ling,amy and dionne at bugis for lunch @ pasta mania, and went to haji lane after that... well then we wanted to go to town, but got sorta lost on the way hahah but yea managed to get to town in the end... walked around orchad, and chatted a lil, and then we all(except mei ling who pangsaied us) met up with my church friends kaye and maurice to watch fantastic 4: the rise of the silver surfer, it was great meeting up with them, haven't seen them in quite a bit, since i have been trading fridays for either training or relaxing days hahah... well here's some photos of the day...

amy and dionne @ some haji lane botique

amy and dionne in the bus

haji lane

LESBIANISM!!! by amy and dionne

mei ling zhi wei and dionne in the bus

some shop at haji lane

somewhere near SCC

mei ling and amy and dionne at the bus stop

the view of orchad from zara @ liat towers

2007-06-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

my perception of my future:

yea thats my perception of my future currently, its just a void, i dunno what to do or where would i end up, dunnno whether i'll be rich or poor, dunno whether i'll be attached or single, dunno whether i'll be alive or dead.. yea kinda sad right? not for me, although i'm very uncertain about my future, i do know one thing, and that God's
in control of it...

2007-06-11T16:20:00.000+08:00

well met up with kc, kj, kingston, oats, ian, and jiahao at ps last night to go to day bed bar to celebrate jeremy's bday, haha had a tough time waiting for taxi at park mall, and we ended up calling a maxi cab heh.. well the bar had cool interior man and super chill out day beds haha thus their name day bed bar lol but yea cool atmosphere.. had 2 beers and a shot, quite ex man the place... yea ended up chit chatting at the closed kopi shop nearby with kingston and oats for a while before the rest came and joined us then we ended up leaving after chatting as a big group heh... well here's some pics of last night, couldn't get much pics of the inside, it was too dark, plus my phone doesn't have a flash yea...

the counter at day bed bar, cool candle shot

kingston and oats outside day bed bar

me out side day bed bar

my pet which i found at the kopi tiam hahah damn friendly cat

my pet stretching

yea that was all the pics i got..had 4 hours of slp last night and had to go to school for project work, and yea had lunch with the project work ppl mei ling, audris, and yvonne at holland v then yea came home to slack, tomorrow training woooooooOOOOoooOOOOOooooOOOooOOooooOOOOO

2007-06-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

well, haven't been blogging for the past few days so yea here's some pics to update u guys..
thursday, went jamming wid the dudes, pic of the place near the jamming sudio

friday, ZW,ML,selwyn, dionne,alvin, alicia, amy, me and jag met up for some post exam stress relief heh we met at 530 and went outtill 11 plus, and yea had some drinks at home club, which sux, they didn't give me back my change...

Alicia and ML with their ice creams from macs at taka, at around 6

ML wid her ice cream(mug shot)

dionne, she had an ice cream in her hand, not in the pic..

alvin and ML horsing around at paragon, outside toys 'r' us

us at paragon, emo shot, done by me

paragon walkway, took it coz it looked cool heh!

us, in false colours, was bored and playin around wid my phone

some pottery in the garden at paragon roof top

supposed to be an emo shot but ZW ruined it

then around 8 we went to boat quay, and mei ling went to find her dad
this was where her dad was at, the coffee shop near the car park

took this while i was stuck in the center of white bridge road, trying to cross

then we went to chippy's at the new shopping center on top of clarke quay, quite nice place

selwyn at chippy's

then we finally decided to go to home club to have a few drinks, around 9 plus
meling and alicia

amy and dionne mug shot

amy and dionne

me and zhi wei

selwyn and jag

today, saturday, i spent the whole day at derrick's and nie, with zhi wei and derrick, we were at nie watching a rugby match and pactising rugby kicks..after that had dinner at derrick's place, then went town

on our way to town our bus collided into the bus in front, near newton circus..and the windscreen of the bus infront broke below are the pics..

2007-06-06T23:16:00.000+08:00

well this was my prison for the past few days, one week to be exact...u can see in the photograph, prison issue bread bun and a cup of coffee, yea tests sux man that pic was like taken at 2 am yesterday night, while i was having a break from my blaw...

well it was quite scary yesterday night, slept at 2 plus am, but i could feel my brain not at rest, like it kept going on and on thinking about business law stuff,so yea i also ended up waking up every half an hour like real suddenly, and say out stuff related to blaw, like at 330am i remembered suddenly waking up and saying : WHATS NON EST FACTUM" real freaky shit i tell ya i thought i was on the verge of going mental...
well fmgt and stats were easy peasy, but not HRM and BLaw...so yea sucks.. anyways its OVER AND I"M FREE... woooooooOOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOOooo

2007-06-03T20:41:00.000+08:00

well the sunday before FMGT test hahah and this is how it was spent, church in the morning, then studyin wid Z.W. alicia, amy and dionne, here's some pics of the day

me and lisa in service

lisa in service

joseph ong in service

us, the studyin bunch, alicia's missing from the pic

the the people who were supposedly studying(more like drawing on my hand la...)

the gingerbread man!

dionne trying to make the gingerbreadman smoke fries

i love the gingerbreadman

eating the ginerbreadman

makin it

making the star wars snow walker or watever u call it

end product

me and paper boob

me and z.w.

me with "boob"

me and zhi wei comparing "boob" size

2007-06-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

wells i'm super happy now heh muhahahahaha... okk enough of that now the reason: dean woke up this morning hoping to study, but had to go have lunch wid his dad, so dean went... suddenly, dean's dad decided to visit the IT fair after lunch, insisting that dean go wid him... dean went, and told his dad his wants from the IT fair, hoping that his dad would buy it... to dean's amazement, dean's dad agreed, and dean got these 2 items

a 100GB exterbal hardisk at a steal of $109

and a new speaker set for his laptop at $40 woooooooo seexxxxyyy man i like it a lot

well on a more serious note, dean only started studyin at 5 with zhi wei in school, but its was definately productive, coz dean can safely say he's prepared for the Finacial Management paper on monday MUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ok srry i'm pretty high from my new things

2007-06-02T00:32:00.000+08:00

hmmmm its 1233am and i'm awake well thanks to a phone call, now i can't sleep! shit!

2007-06-01T17:59:00.001+08:00

well another day of school, in fact the last day of school before the common tests then wooooooooo holiday for 2 and a half weeks hmms...nearly skipped class this morning but went thankfully, coz fmgt's last testable chapter for common test is mother hard to under stand la... hmmm the had blaw, which some indian dude who looks like a merc cab driver lectured, then ecd.. Omg sia waste of time i tell ya go there watch family guy on youtube, coz the lecture's useless, plus the people briefing us for the bazzar came super unprepared, plus the area located to us for the bazzar is like so puny, waste of time and money, yes money, we had to bid for it and our bid was 42 bucks !@#!$$%@$%$!@! i tell ya... well here's some pics of the day

this is tatt wid his muscles in class, i think druce took this

me, ben wong and jin , bored/half dead in the stupid ECD lecture, which no one went, the most empty lecture i've been to i tell ya

the empty ecd lecture hall

the other side of the empty lecture hall... wells today was crappy i guess... hmm next up, studyin for the CTs...

2007-06-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

ok spent my holiday studyin with amy, zhi wei, dionne, jag, around town, then met up with mei ling and alicia for dinner at yoshinoya at taka... well it sure was a fun day heh... here are some pics from the studying

amy and jag talking at coffee bean

dionne and amy in jag and my ivp jackets, obviously too big for them

again

finally my doodling, kinda saddistic yea but cool :D

2007-06-01T00:11:00.001+08:00

well felt as if its time for a change, a new blog, for a new time, a new something?